Paper Round

Christmas came early for The Daily Telegraph this week with the news that a "council-owned" charity in Oxfordshire had "banned" every nipper's favourite Christian festival.

Oxford Inspires - the charitable cultural development agency for the county - decided to rename its series of seasonal events as the Winter Light Festival to make it "more inclusive". Even local non-Christian religious leaders were questioning the wisdom of cocking such an inflammatory snook at tradition.

Ed Turner, deputy leader of the council, said: "There is going to be a Christmas tree and, even if the lights are called something else, to me they will be Christmas lights." Nice to see someone making a stand.

The Daily Telegraph was also concerned by the plight of a "charity walker great-grandad" who was kicked out of a local boozer for wearing a tracksuit. Staff at the Windmill in Kidderminster told 75-year-old Eric Perks that his shiny blue get-up might attract riff-raff to the respectable premises. Perks said: "I have to admit I lost my temper a little and said: 'This tracksuited gentleman has raised over £40,000 for charity.'" Blimey. And there was Paper Round thinking that only Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross were capable of uttering such filth.

Things also got a bit tasty at a charity football match between Scottish MPs and sports journalists. The website bbc.co.uk reported that the encounter had to be abandoned after an "evil" tackle by Labour MSP John Park led to BBC Scotland presenter Chick Young being stretchered off. A mass brawl ensued.

Young said he had never seen anything like it in 20 years of charity football. Luckily for him, that tricky, indefatigable bruiser of a left winger, George Galloway, plies his trade in London these days.

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