Paper round

As the corridors of power echoed with the wolfish howls of City bankers and finance ministers last week, one small Scottish charity did its best to add to the sense of slightly amusing mayhem.

According to the Daily Record, an email inviting a lucky few to the annual general meeting of Fife's Kingdom Abuse Survivors Project crashed computers around the UK. 'Experts' think the problem was a virus on the computer of one of the recipients. The foul parasite even managed to evade the House of Commons snipers and barbed wire.

An 'insider' was quoted as saying: "Computers were down for hours and people were starting to worry that sensitive data might have been lost." But hasn't all of the nation's sensitive data already been left on the 06.33 to Chipping Sodbury?

Australians are not unknown for indulging in a bit of good, old-fashioned name-calling - especially when they've emptied a few tinnies of the amber nectar into their bellies. According to Reuters, however, things might be a bit quieter than usual in Erinsborough and Earls Court this month after Aussies everywhere were challenged to lay off the booze to raise money for a charity that gives drug and alcohol counselling to, of all people, schoolchildren. Naturally enough, however, participants in the 'Ocsober' challenge can buy a 'leave pass' so they can drink on special occasions. This presumably includes occasions such as breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Paper Round can only assume that free zinfandel at California's SGV Tribune lies behind this week's headline of the week: "Possibly pregnant woman with child in car swipes charity money at drugstore". It seems "possibly pregnant" was actually a euphemism for "heavy-set". The latest entry into the merry dictionary of political correctness? You read it here first.

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