Paper round

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into your local pub without fear that the resident darts team would perform a 'full monty' in aid of the local hospital's premature baby unit, it seems the world's most toe-curling fundraising wheeze is back.

But it is not only Paper Round that is choking on the excess of meat and two veg. Thisislichfield.co.uk reported that one event had to change venue after the manager of a church social club threatened to put the boot in if it became too off-colour. Notwithstanding assurances that thongs would remain firmly on, the bastion of decency told one of the likely lads' mums that he'd wade in if he "didn't like the look of it".

The money raised will be split between Macmillan Cancer Support and a fund to send a local 10-year-old with a brain tumour to Disneyland. Paper Round can only hope the poor lass is spared making a personal appearance.

But if that event looks inappropriate, it's nothing compared with the Beaconsfield father who, according to the Bucks Free Press, is stripping in memory of his deceased infant daughter. Climb, a charity that helps families affected by metabolic disorders, stands to benefit.

He said: "I feel the need to do something unique to remember Katie." Erm ...

Meanwhile, Bermudan actor Alan Gilbertson can bear to expose his "pale and flabby" flesh in a stage version of The Full Monty only if his shame benefits his favourite cause: South African relief charity Feedback Food Distribution. The Bermuda Sun reported that Gilbertson will shed his glad rags on a dedicated website as designated fundraising landmarks are passed. But sorry, ladies: you'll have to find the url yourselves.

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