Paper Round

If you're tired of all the tacky junk peddled by shops trying to cash in on St Valentine's day, what better way to cock a snook at the whole business than presenting your loved one with a heart-shaped potato?

According to The Northern Echo, the love-struck spud was discovered by a Shropshire couple while they were making dinner. Their friends urged them to donate it to Macmillan Cancer Support Shropshire's St Valentine's day auction.

"The person with the highest bid will be presented with the potato," a spokeswoman for the charity helpfully explained.

Vintage chocolate also proved to be popular last week, with a "furious bidding war" for a four-year-old Wispa bar reaching £2,550, according to

Student Rebecca Wells found the rare delicacy down the back of her sofa. Her initial inclination was to scoff it herself, before the idea struck her to auction it on eBay for lung disease charity LAM Action.

But images of some gallant Milk Tray type intent on giving his beloved a taste of her childhood, no matter what the cost, were shattered when the bidder claimed a prankster had made the pledge in his name and the auction was cancelled.

Even more uncharitable was the "abusive man in a deerstalker hat" who punched a charity shop worker in the face after she refused him a £3 refund for a faulty clock.

The Sutton Guardian reported that 62-year-old Sue Oliver suffered a black eye and cuts to her cheek during the attack at the Age Concern branch in Sutton, south London.

The man thumped his fist on the till when he was asked for a receipt for the item - then he knocked Oliver to the floor. He left only after a shopper handed him three pound coins.

Oliver said: "People will probably think: 'Why didn't you just give him £3?' But he could have been anybody. He could have wanted the £3 for drinking money."

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