Paper round

Fans of the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees are not known for their mutual affection, and crowds of the former often chant that Yankees "suck".

But it seems the New Yorkers have taken this to heart and obtained revenge by hoovering up an innocent Boston terrier.

According to bbc.co.uk, a street-sweeping truck in the Bronx sucked up the witless mutt without even pausing to spit out its collar. Asking whether the driver "had been observing proper procedures", the dog's devastated owner is consulting his lawyer and American welfare charity the Humane Society. He said: "I was completely dumbfounded. I mean, I just witnessed my dog sucked up into a street sweeper."

Dumb animals are also in the firing line at Wimbledon. Organisers of the tournament have been criticised by animal charity Peta for hiring marksmen to shoot down the pesky pigeons.

According to Yahoo!, the tournament 'employs' two birds of prey to scare away any winged rats thinking of dive-bombing the centre court, but the hopeless hawks (doubtless being paid chicken feed) had failed to protect the all-important open-air media restaurant. A spokesman for the All-England Club said droppings on the tables were a health hazard, but Peta said the shootings were "cruel and illegal behaviour" and told the fuzz.

New balls may be in ready supply in SW19, but not so in the human groin. That's why two men are determined to raise awareness of testicular cancer by going on a tour of places with genitalia-related names.

Gazette-news.co.uk reported that the jolly japesters had so far been to Cocks Clark in Essex and Prickwillow in Cambridge, raising money for male cancer charity Everyman. That's fundraising with knobs on for you. SHE SAID IT

'Innovation, innovation, yet again! Why should innovation triumph over what already works?'

Teresa Riley, manager, Bristol Mediation Centre, on the new Next Practice grants programme from the Innovation Exchange.

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