Paper round

As an exemplary citizen of this nation, Paper Round would willingly undergo all manner of terrors, privations and humiliations in the name of charity. Sponsored parachute jumps, head shaves, even nude calendars: you name it. But one Somerset man went far beyond anything this column has ever contemplated, pledging to watch chick flicks for 24 hours solid.

The Somerset County Gazette reported that Steve Olive took on the brain death-defying challenge in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital. Alas, he managed only 19 hours before he fell asleep watching Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston's nauseating slush-fest The Bodyguard. But surely an MBE is still in order. Meanwhile, a Milton Keynes man organised a fundraising day for his hospital's intensive treatment unit to thank its staff for saving his life after he was crushed by falling ovens at a kitchen showroom.

The Milton Keynes Citizen reported that 46 of the appliances dived onto the hapless 24-year-old from 30ft. It is unclear what he had done to upset so many consumer durables, but, in Paper Round's experience, unfavourable comparisons to barbecues are liable to get any oven hot and bothered.

No tale of plucky Brits raising charity cash would be complete without some misguided fool in a bath of baked beans. Cue the Lancaster landlady who sat in 40 tins of the wretched foodstuff for a full 12 hours in aid of North West Air Ambulance.

Predictably, she is not keen to go near an orange haricot ever again. "I wanted to do something a bit different because everyone is doing sponsored walks," she told the Lancaster Guardian. "But after a few hours I thought 'this was not a good idea!'" Insert your own joke here about the beans having left a bad smell.

SHE SAID IT

'Charity work is not a job for me. It's something I have been born into'

Camilla Al Fayed, daughter of Mohamed Al Fayed, in The Independent.

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