The Sun couldn't control itself over the Royal Navy asking equality charity Stonewall to advise on gay recruitment: it printed the Kitchener poster from the First World War with a drooping hand instead of a pointed finger, and an engraving of Nelson's famous last request with Hardy responding: "I thought you'd never ask."
The House Magazine asked Daily Telegraph political editor George Jones to predict which of 37 Bills in the Queen's Speech will get through before the election. "Only a handful," declared the sage, listing crime and anti-social behaviour measures - but not the Charities Bill.
A church charity in Greece got it badly wrong over the tsunami, according to the Telegraph. Its boxes of aid to Sri Lanka contained fur coats, carnival wigs and underwear thongs - "completely inappropriate", fumed Elli Xenou of Doctors of the World.
The Yorkshire Post reported a spate of thefts from the St Catherine's Hospice charity shop in Scarborough, including a woman putting several of the shop's dresses on under her own. They're having a special sale to buy a security camera.
This one's for the names: Kosmik Overdrive will be playing at the Royal Oak in Wotton-under-Edge on Friday, according to The Gloucestershire Gazette, to raise money for the North Nibley Romania Team, which supports the psychiatric hospital in the former coal mining village of Mina 1 Mai (the Mine of the 1st May). Don't miss it ... names is a character style.