Paper Round

Repentance is our theme this week, and first up is Tom Butler, the Bishop of Southwark. Readers may recall his overly-spiritual night last December, but let's have a quick recap.

After a reception at the Irish embassy, the hapless bish embarked on a homeward journey during which he swapped his briefcase, crucifix and memory for nothing but a mighty shiner. One source even described seeing him throwing toys out of a car window and shouting: "I'm the Bishop of Southwark. It's what I do."

Well, The Times reported that satirical Christian website Ship-of-fools.com is marking the anniversary of those "legendary meanderings" with a pub crawl along the route in aid of Sudanese children's charity Kids for Kids. So if you see them, do your bit for authenticity and give them a whack in the eye.

Booze was also cited as a mitigating factor in the case of a Hartlepool man who felt so guilty about his theft of a charity collection tin that he returned it to the sandwich shop whence it came. Anthony Small also offered a donation of his own to atone for his sins, according to the Hartlepool Mail.

Local magistrates were not impressed and fined Small £60. Not surprising, perhaps, given that his donation was a measly quid.

Meanwhile, Chancellor Alistair Darling might be regretting his attendance at the opening of a Save the Children shop in Edinburgh.

The Scotsman reported that he became the centre of a media frenzy, with 30 of the fourth estate's finest knocking a pair of "stout walking shoes" off a shelf as they clamoured to grill him over the HMRC lost data scandal.

The paper also noted that Darling was within reach of two Jim Reeves LPs - Adios Amigo and He'll Have to Go. No word on whether he flipped through the nearby CDs, just in case.


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